Being left alone is a real problem for many dogs – and probably for you too. As soon as the door is closed, the drama begins: yelping, barking, scratching, or even destructive behavior. But why exactly?
Separation anxiety or loss of control? – The cause makes the difference
Not every dog who can't be left alone automatically suffers from separation anxiety . In fact, it's often a loss of control —the need to constantly know where you are and to keep an eye on you.
What is separation anxiety?
True separation anxiety is a deep-seated emotional problem. Your dog is terrified of being alone. Typical symptoms:
· Howling or barking when leaving
· Trembling, drooling, panting
· Restlessness, destructive behavior
· Waiting motionless without sleeping
What is loss of control?
Some dogs find it stressful to no longer be able to control where you are or what you're doing. It's not necessarily fear, but more of an inner compulsion. They have trouble relaxing if they can't "monitor" you.
💡 Important: When a dog loses control, it's not enough to simply train him to be alone. It's about adjusting the entire human-dog relationship :
· Is your dog very affectionate or demanding?
· Does he follow you everywhere?
· Does he have trouble calming down, even when you are there?
✅ Then it's worth adjusting other things, such as establishing calm rituals and training frustration tolerance.
Practicing staying alone – step by step to success
1. No big drama – neither when leaving nor when coming
One of the most common mistakes: farewell and welcome ceremonies . If you say goodbye with a big farewell as you leave, you're subconsciously telling your dog: "Something very important is about to happen!"
The same goes for coming home: If you're greeted enthusiastically, you reinforce his feeling that your return was a mega-event – so being alone must have been bad too, right?
✅ Better: Leave calmly, confidently, and calmly – and return just as relaxed. Of course, you can greet your dog, but do so confidently and calmly .
2. Small steps, big impact
As with any training, increase slowly and pay attention to your dog's reactions.
Here's how you can get started:
· Put on a jacket or shoes – but stay there.
· Go to the door, open it – close it again.
· Go outside for a moment – just for 10 seconds.
· Then slowly increase: 1 minute, 3 minutes, 5 minutes…
🔁 If your dog becomes restless , don't increase the intensity any further; instead, take a step back. Training isn't a competition ; it's about building relationships.
3. Limited space = more security
Many dogs feel overwhelmed when they're left alone in the entire house or apartment. Too much space, too many stimuli, too many "responsibilities."
✅ Tip: Limit the area – e.g. B. in a room where your dog likes to spend time anyway.
✅ A den , crate, or a clearly defined retreat can also be helpful. Many dogs readily accept this type of safe retreat, especially when feeling insecure.
4. Use technology: Set up a camera!
If you really want to know what your dog is doing when you're away, a small camera is worth its weight in gold.
With a WLAN camera (e.g. B. via smartphone app) you can observe whether your dog:
· lies quietly,
· running around,
· howls or barks,
· tampering with doors or furniture.
💡 This way you can objectively assess your training and progress – instead of just guessing what happened.
5. Promote inner peace – also in a natural way
Some dogs simply can't find peace – even with well-structured training. Natural relaxants can help with this.
⚠️ Of course, they are no substitute for training – but they can help your dog to get into the state where learning is possible.
Conclusion:
A dog who can be left alone comfortably trusts you, your return—and himself . He has learned: "I don't have to control everything. My human will come back, and I can relax in the meantime."
Achieving this state isn't always easy, but it's definitely doable. With loving, consistent training, clear structures, natural relaxation aids , and the right instinct for your dog, you'll lay the foundation for greater serenity.
